LIVE

For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV)

I read this verse over and over, hoping my spirit would lift a little. God knows I have had enough sorrow. Only seven weeks ago I carried the urn that held our son's ashes and placed it on top of the china cabinet. His death still weighs heavily on my heart.

My latest sorrow is the fear that my older sister is dying of heart failure.

God, who was speaking above, actually thought of me, thoughts of peace and love. He wants to give me a hopeful future. God wants me to live my life fully, in peace, love and prosperity. The word "Live" spelled backwards, reads "evil."

"Okay, Lord," I said as I talked to Him while doing the breakfast dishes, "I'm ready for this darkness and sorrow to lift. I'm ready for Your peace to cover my heart. I want to live."

I waited for the peace God promised. Nothing happened. My heart sank. I wanted that special peace to enter my soul and fill me with the joy I know the love of God gives. I wanted it so badly at that moment.

There were times that I thought God was not listening or maybe I was not "tuned in." I want to feel alive. Then it hit me--God wants me to live even in the midst of sorrow.

Father, every morning that I wake up I give glory and honor to You. Thank You, Lord, that I LIVE! Amen.

(c) 2014 E. Bonnie Ryan